Life has been much of the same. Spent the weekend with family mostly, but thankfully Gina came down on Saturday. I love my family, but the same faces day after day can kind of wear of you. That's why her visit was so refreshing. We talked, played games, watched a movie. Most importantly, I actually felt normal for the first time in awhile. It's amazing how small things really make a difference.
Other than that, a lot of sports watching, which for a bay area fan as of late is kind of crappy. Sharks and Giants both can't seem to hold onto to any leads they get. Very frustrating, especially when you can't yell.
I went to another appointment today, which surprisingly have been the highlights of my week. They've all been good news with high praise as far as my recovery is going. The only down side is that they are not happy with how much weight I am losing. Because of the pool, I cannot divulge what the number is so far, but I can say its substantial enough. Unfortunately, I have to try very hard to maintain the weight I do have, so we will see how that goes. The best news is that they upped the amount of time I can have the rubber bands off each day, from 6 to 8. It might not seem like very much, but for me it's HUGE. Every extra second is a big deal. It's a weird feeling having your mouth sealed off. It's even harder not to have minor panic attacks. So knowing that a break is coming really helps. And lengthening that break is some of the best news I can possibly get. All in all, today was a pretty good day. And I'm almost half way there!
That's it for now, more to come later!
Much love.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
It's the only the second week!
At my appointment yesterday (Thursday), they said everything is looking great. My bite is adjusting nicely, the wounds are clean, the swelling is ahead of schedule, and I get to have my bands off for 6 hours a day opposed to 3 previously. So all good news! But what I didn't expect was the feeling it gave me, which is actually frustration. Why you may ask? Because I'm healing as well as you could, but I still have the same time table as far as getting my splint off. That still means wearing bands, still means not eating what I want, still means feeling tired and weak.
Ok, that was my quick venting session. All in all, things are going really well. The one thing I did not see coming is the fact that the corners of my mouth are extremely sore. They're not dry, so I don't know what the deal is. But, I love my family and friends. Most of them have either sent me a text, a card, or an email. And most want to know when they can come visit!
Other than that, things are pretty boring. I keep myself busy with various things, Giants and Sharks in particular, but I'm about ready to get out a little more. Seeing a movie tomorrow morning and I'll be going on more walks. I'll be sure to write if anything life altering happens!
Much love.
Ok, that was my quick venting session. All in all, things are going really well. The one thing I did not see coming is the fact that the corners of my mouth are extremely sore. They're not dry, so I don't know what the deal is. But, I love my family and friends. Most of them have either sent me a text, a card, or an email. And most want to know when they can come visit!
Other than that, things are pretty boring. I keep myself busy with various things, Giants and Sharks in particular, but I'm about ready to get out a little more. Seeing a movie tomorrow morning and I'll be going on more walks. I'll be sure to write if anything life altering happens!
Much love.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Catch Up!
So the first week was definitely an interesting one. Some common themes that developed...
- Sleeping is no longer considered "rest"
- Meals consist of liquids laced with other liquids
- Liquid Sudafed is truly the drink of the Gods
- Lego's are as cool now as they were when I was 7
- I have amazing people in my life
Spending the night in the hospital was kinda cool because it was a security blanket. The nurses were all so good and sweet, I had a number of visitors, my Dad was there til 2am, Jen was there til 3am, and my mom spent the night on a cot in my room. Luckily, I was in a room for two by myself so we had two TVs going; one with the Giants and one with the Sharks. I didn't sleep that much because I have to sleep sitting up and had a humidifier mask on that I can still hear when it's real quiet. But alas, I survived the first night.
The next couple of days were plagued by bloody noses and poor breathing. Friday was the first day I got to take the rubber bands off. I'm required to have them off for an hour and a half, twice a day. At first, that was a scary proposition. I had envisioned my jaw falling off like in a horror movie, but as you may have guessed, that did not happen. I have to do stretches and exercises to start getting mobility back. I started out not being able to put my pinky finger in my mouth, I now have room for my thumb with some room to spare; so, progress!
Saturday night was scary because I couldn't breathe what-so-ever. We have Sudafed, but breaking it up and putting it in liquid wasn't working. And due to certain regulations, you have to buy it from the Pharmacy, one at a time, and they swipe your driver's license. Not only that, there are no pharmacies open at 4am. But as soon as we got through those shenanigans, we got a hold of things. My dad went out Sunday morning to get me Children's sudafed, had my family (who came over for Mother's day) bring liquid sudafed, and anyone who asks if I need something, LIQUID SUDAFED.
Other than that, I've spent most my time taking short naps, building lego's, and watching a ton of sports. The stir crazyness is about to set in, so if you have a moment and feel like popping by, I'll be here!
- Sleeping is no longer considered "rest"
- Meals consist of liquids laced with other liquids
- Liquid Sudafed is truly the drink of the Gods
- Lego's are as cool now as they were when I was 7
- I have amazing people in my life
Spending the night in the hospital was kinda cool because it was a security blanket. The nurses were all so good and sweet, I had a number of visitors, my Dad was there til 2am, Jen was there til 3am, and my mom spent the night on a cot in my room. Luckily, I was in a room for two by myself so we had two TVs going; one with the Giants and one with the Sharks. I didn't sleep that much because I have to sleep sitting up and had a humidifier mask on that I can still hear when it's real quiet. But alas, I survived the first night.
The next couple of days were plagued by bloody noses and poor breathing. Friday was the first day I got to take the rubber bands off. I'm required to have them off for an hour and a half, twice a day. At first, that was a scary proposition. I had envisioned my jaw falling off like in a horror movie, but as you may have guessed, that did not happen. I have to do stretches and exercises to start getting mobility back. I started out not being able to put my pinky finger in my mouth, I now have room for my thumb with some room to spare; so, progress!
Saturday night was scary because I couldn't breathe what-so-ever. We have Sudafed, but breaking it up and putting it in liquid wasn't working. And due to certain regulations, you have to buy it from the Pharmacy, one at a time, and they swipe your driver's license. Not only that, there are no pharmacies open at 4am. But as soon as we got through those shenanigans, we got a hold of things. My dad went out Sunday morning to get me Children's sudafed, had my family (who came over for Mother's day) bring liquid sudafed, and anyone who asks if I need something, LIQUID SUDAFED.
Other than that, I've spent most my time taking short naps, building lego's, and watching a ton of sports. The stir crazyness is about to set in, so if you have a moment and feel like popping by, I'll be here!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Countdown til Laser time
It's the night before... and things are sinking in.
All I try to focus on are the phone calls, texts, and emails I got today from family and friends. It's a weird feeling knowing that I am down to the last few hours of me being the me I've seen in the mirror for all these years. I know that I'm not changing that drastically, but it still won't be me. I didn't think that this would be the feeling that took over, but that's where I'm at. I've waited so long to have this done because I'm tired of not being able to bite through anything... tired of having sensitive teeth all the time... tired of having this looming over my head. The one thing I'm not tired of being, for better or worse, is me.
But the show must go on as people in show business say; and in a few hours I will be under the bright lights waiting for my time to shine. I just hope it doesn't change me too much.
Time to try and sleep. I will see you all on the other side.
Much love.
All I try to focus on are the phone calls, texts, and emails I got today from family and friends. It's a weird feeling knowing that I am down to the last few hours of me being the me I've seen in the mirror for all these years. I know that I'm not changing that drastically, but it still won't be me. I didn't think that this would be the feeling that took over, but that's where I'm at. I've waited so long to have this done because I'm tired of not being able to bite through anything... tired of having sensitive teeth all the time... tired of having this looming over my head. The one thing I'm not tired of being, for better or worse, is me.
But the show must go on as people in show business say; and in a few hours I will be under the bright lights waiting for my time to shine. I just hope it doesn't change me too much.
Time to try and sleep. I will see you all on the other side.
Much love.
The Day Before the Day Before the Day
Today was productive in that, with the inspiration from Jenn and the google doc expertise of Greg, the creation of a pool for the amount of weight I'm going to lose was the highlight of my day. And I say that to the illustrate the fact I had a good day. I have no idea what I will feel like doing with all this down time, but managing some bets sounded like a fun place to start. Quick rundown of the bet...
- $5 a guess
- Has to be to the tenth of a lb
- I'm not participating in the guessing (though I of course made my own guess)
- Tie breaker is what place the Giants will be in the morning of June 1
- Which is the morning I should be getting my splint off and will be able to
chew again
To be honest, on top of it being a fun idea, it was a great way to get in touch with some of my friends I haven't talked to in awhile. I have so many great people in my life that sometimes it's hard to keep track of them all. I know that they would care to know about these kinds of things and already I have a couple of responses from 2 high school buddies. It's nice to reconnect no matter what the circumstance may be. It's interesting how the thought of losing the ability to pick up the phone and SPEAK to a friend inspires you to get in contact with, well... pretty much all of them. I find myself fighting off the urge to just call person after person. Which is weird to me because it's not like I'm going to the moon or anything. Or that I am losing my vocal chords and I want everyone to remember what my voice sounds like. I guess it boils down to the fact that I won't be able to converse with a friend. Sure, I can write emails, gchat, text, send smoke signals or a carrier pigeon, but those methods don't convey emotion like humans are supposed to. When you think about it, why do we convey emotion? I think it's because of one of the most basic human needs; the need to be understood. And the thought of losing that for awhile is a hard pill to swallow, especially for someone like me who lives their life to make real connections with people.
Now that was a tangent if I've ever seen one. Not sure where I was going with all of that, other than just wanting to be understood because I'm pretty damn nervous about this all. Thanks for reading along. It's comforting to know you are there.
Much love.
- $5 a guess
- Has to be to the tenth of a lb
- I'm not participating in the guessing (though I of course made my own guess)
- Tie breaker is what place the Giants will be in the morning of June 1
- Which is the morning I should be getting my splint off and will be able to
chew again
To be honest, on top of it being a fun idea, it was a great way to get in touch with some of my friends I haven't talked to in awhile. I have so many great people in my life that sometimes it's hard to keep track of them all. I know that they would care to know about these kinds of things and already I have a couple of responses from 2 high school buddies. It's nice to reconnect no matter what the circumstance may be. It's interesting how the thought of losing the ability to pick up the phone and SPEAK to a friend inspires you to get in contact with, well... pretty much all of them. I find myself fighting off the urge to just call person after person. Which is weird to me because it's not like I'm going to the moon or anything. Or that I am losing my vocal chords and I want everyone to remember what my voice sounds like. I guess it boils down to the fact that I won't be able to converse with a friend. Sure, I can write emails, gchat, text, send smoke signals or a carrier pigeon, but those methods don't convey emotion like humans are supposed to. When you think about it, why do we convey emotion? I think it's because of one of the most basic human needs; the need to be understood. And the thought of losing that for awhile is a hard pill to swallow, especially for someone like me who lives their life to make real connections with people.
Now that was a tangent if I've ever seen one. Not sure where I was going with all of that, other than just wanting to be understood because I'm pretty damn nervous about this all. Thanks for reading along. It's comforting to know you are there.
Much love.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Where to Start...
I guess that's rhetorical considering I'm just lying in my room typing words in hopes of finding a way to start this. I guess the best place to begin is at the beginning...
When I was 8 I started wearing a retainer at the recommendation of my orthodontist. He didn't really give much of an explanation as to why I should wear one, but he started me on the awkward appliance none-the-less. Over the next couple of years, it became obvious that the retainer wasn't the solution, just a place holder for events to come. He realized that my lower jaw was growing more than my upper and that there wasn't much he could do until I stopped growing and my jaws found their temporary resting place. Temporary? Yes, temporary because as soon as they maxed their growing potential, they were going to take my wisdom teeth (which were doing just fine in my head), slap on some braces, adjust things with rubber bands, then brake my jaws in 4 places with a laser, before continuing with braces for another year... all in my mid-twenties.
Digression:
Now most kids complain that they had braces during their high school years and how embarrassing they were while they were trying to pick up girls or impress the guys with their bright smiles. To them I say this: everyone goes through it then so they don't have to as an adult. If one more bouncer holds my ID up to my head to make sure I'm not a high school senior who stole their brother's ID to have some fun at the bars, I will probably do nothing. But it's still pretty annoying!
But before I start sounding bitter, I think it is important to note that I am extremely grateful to have this done. Despite my complaining, I am so fortunate to have this process in my life. All in all, it will be about 2 and a half years of unpleasantness for a lifetime free of worry from TMJ, lock-jaw, sensitive nerves, no back teeth, or never knowing what its like to actually bite through something cleanly. But the thing I am most grateful is the willingness of my mom and step-dad to fully support me through this process. Without them, this wouldn't be happening.
Being that it's only Sunday night and I'm still just under 55 hours away from the surgery, I can't really talk about my experience cause I haven't had it yet. What I can say is that of all the experiences in my life, I have never been as nervous as I am now. I have never broken anything. So the first broken bone I'll have will come via laser and Dr. Cheng. I doubt I'll sleep much the night before. I know that cause I can't even sleep now. But I think it's about time to try. That's all I have at the moment. Hopefully I'll get better at this whole blogging thing. I think it will help me to consider this a journal that I don't mind others peeking at to help me not feel so self-centered when writing this. So feel free to write back!
Much love.
When I was 8 I started wearing a retainer at the recommendation of my orthodontist. He didn't really give much of an explanation as to why I should wear one, but he started me on the awkward appliance none-the-less. Over the next couple of years, it became obvious that the retainer wasn't the solution, just a place holder for events to come. He realized that my lower jaw was growing more than my upper and that there wasn't much he could do until I stopped growing and my jaws found their temporary resting place. Temporary? Yes, temporary because as soon as they maxed their growing potential, they were going to take my wisdom teeth (which were doing just fine in my head), slap on some braces, adjust things with rubber bands, then brake my jaws in 4 places with a laser, before continuing with braces for another year... all in my mid-twenties.
Digression:
Now most kids complain that they had braces during their high school years and how embarrassing they were while they were trying to pick up girls or impress the guys with their bright smiles. To them I say this: everyone goes through it then so they don't have to as an adult. If one more bouncer holds my ID up to my head to make sure I'm not a high school senior who stole their brother's ID to have some fun at the bars, I will probably do nothing. But it's still pretty annoying!
But before I start sounding bitter, I think it is important to note that I am extremely grateful to have this done. Despite my complaining, I am so fortunate to have this process in my life. All in all, it will be about 2 and a half years of unpleasantness for a lifetime free of worry from TMJ, lock-jaw, sensitive nerves, no back teeth, or never knowing what its like to actually bite through something cleanly. But the thing I am most grateful is the willingness of my mom and step-dad to fully support me through this process. Without them, this wouldn't be happening.
Being that it's only Sunday night and I'm still just under 55 hours away from the surgery, I can't really talk about my experience cause I haven't had it yet. What I can say is that of all the experiences in my life, I have never been as nervous as I am now. I have never broken anything. So the first broken bone I'll have will come via laser and Dr. Cheng. I doubt I'll sleep much the night before. I know that cause I can't even sleep now. But I think it's about time to try. That's all I have at the moment. Hopefully I'll get better at this whole blogging thing. I think it will help me to consider this a journal that I don't mind others peeking at to help me not feel so self-centered when writing this. So feel free to write back!
Much love.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)